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A Soldier's Book of Poems: Poems 9 & Ten.

Have you Not Given Enough

How long the anguish

Must you endure

Have you not given enough

Once young and strong

Full of pride

And supposedly mentally tough

Sent far from home

From families loved

To a country, safety uncertain

Brave face put on

Just walk away

Pulled shut, an emotional curtain

A position of importance

So it seems

Telling troops, all is fine

But fear sets in

Dead of night

As gunshots pierce the mind

You are now responsible

For their safety

Their lives now come first

The battle too close

The conclusion uncertain

Now you fear the worse

You survive the night

Safe for now

A routine now sets in

You forget the danger

Forget the fear

Hold all your emotions within

Danger is still present

That you know

But you concentrate on your task

A good stiff drink

To calm the fears

Or maybe a small flask

The time rolls by

The fear subsided

That is what you think

But nerves are frayed

Emotions held tight

Still haven’t had that drink

The mission now done

You’re heading home

Now you see the light

But you don’t know

It’s just begun

A new and constant fight

Can’t seem to sleep

Up all night

Your mind in constant motion

You turn to pills

Now that drink

You take a nightly potion

Sleep still not sound

Mind on the mission

You wake up in a sweat

You felt that fear

You were there

On that you would bet

Your moods swing swift

Cry for nothing

Time to have a drink

Your family now worried

Full of confusion

What must they now think

A confusing emotional battle

You have brought home

This one seems too tough

How long the anguish

Must you endure

Have you not given enough.


She Remains

He struggles daily

To control his pain

He battles constantly

To remain the same

He sees the evil

This world has unleased

No care for the suffering

Just there for the feast

Yet, she remains

By his side

She remains

Away from home

Time and again

Leaving her to handle

Work and kids all alone

Not knowing his condition

Or if he’s alive

She closes the door

So they won’t see her cry

Yet, she remains

Time after time

She remains

A strong women she is

He cannot deny

Strengthens his being

Fills him with pride

But his darkness grows

Deep inside

Tries to control it

Tries to hide

Yet, she remains

By his side

She remains.

He feels such anger

Deep inside

He feels depression

Hard to hide

He feels the emptiness

In his mind

He feels such sorrow

He wants to die

Yet, she remains

By his side

She remains

He’s been through some tough times

But she’s still here

He battles depressions

But she still cares

He’s fought the emptiness

In his soul

He’s fought the rage

Hard to control

Yet, she remains

By his side

She remains

He doesn’t know why

She remains


I will have to speed things up a little, as my poetry writing went on a long hiatus, with only a few new writings. A lot has happened since my United Nations deployment to Cyprus in 1982. Which is where I left off in my previous post.

When the Regiment returned to Canada, we went on our post-deployment, Regimental Leave (Holiday). Upon return from Leave, the Regiment went into training mode, again. By the summer of 1983, I had completed an Artillery Communications Course, a Basic Blowpipe (Anti-Aircraft Missile) Course, and a Combat Leaders Course.

I ended up being extremely fortunate for having been sent to the Air Defence Artillery, rather than to the 1rst Regiment in Germany. The Air Defence was just being rejuvenated and was severely under-strength. I, as a no hook Gunner (Artillery Private), was moved into an empty Air Defence Detachment Commander's position. Which, is normally a Master Bombardier's (MBdr's) position (Artillery Master Corporal). In the summer of 1983, while participating in another large scale Military Exercise (Rendezvous RV-83), in the training field at Wainwright, Alberta, I was promoted to Master Bombardier.

Skipping a few years, the summer of 1985 started, back to Wainwright Alberta for RV-85, I was an idiot and turned down a promotion to Acting/Lacking Qualifications to Sergeant. I released from the Army, under the belief that I would be going to work for my girlfriends Father. Not telling me that she didn't really want this relationship, before I released from the Army, would have been nice. But, I was given that lovely news after I had released. So, the job offer was off the table, and I was left with no girlfriend, no job, no money. No money to continue paying the bank loan on my Camaro.

Unfortunately, it took 1 1/2 years to get back into the Military. Normally, if you released from the Military and were out for more than 1 year, you can loose a rank. Thankfully, since I had been officially promoted, administratively, to the rank of Acting/Lacking Sergeant, my reduction of Rank was back to former Rank of MBdr.

In 1987, 2 years after getting back into the Military, I suffered an allergic reaction and went into anaphylactic shock. No true cause was found, so I was deemed medically unfit to continue in the Artillery and was medically remustered (change of trade) to Communicator Research Operator (Signals Intelligence), with a reduction of Rank to Corporal.

I would be starting 1991, with a new Military Trade, a new wife and a new life.

I will continue my story with my next poem/s.

As noted before, I did not place my name and date of completion with my earlier poems. However, all of the poems from my book are copyright protected. E.J.R. Hardy.

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