Have you Not Given Enough
How long the anguish
Must you endure
Have you not given enough
Once young and strong
Full of pride
And supposedly mentally tough
Sent far from home
From families loved
To a country, safety uncertain
Brave face put on
Just walk away
Pulled shut, an emotional curtain
A position of importance
So it seems
Telling troops, all is fine
But fear sets in
Dead of night
As gunshots pierce the mind
You are now responsible
For their safety
Their lives now come first
The battle too close
The conclusion uncertain
Now you fear the worse
You survive the night
Safe for now
A routine now sets in
You forget the danger
Forget the fear
Hold all your emotions within
Danger is still present
That you know
But you concentrate on your task
A good stiff drink
To calm the fears
Or maybe a small flask
The time rolls by
The fear subsided
That is what you think
But nerves are frayed
Emotions held tight
Still haven’t had that drink
The mission now done
You’re heading home
Now you see the light
But you don’t know
It’s just begun
A new and constant fight
Can’t seem to sleep
Up all night
Your mind in constant motion
You turn to pills
Now that drink
You take a nightly potion
Sleep still not sound
Mind on the mission
You wake up in a sweat
You felt that fear
You were there
On that you would bet
Your moods swing swift
Cry for nothing
Time to have a drink
Your family now worried
Full of confusion
What must they now think
A confusing emotional battle
You have brought home
This one seems too tough
How long the anguish
Must you endure
Have you not given enough.
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She Remains
He struggles daily
To control his pain
He battles constantly
To remain the same
He sees the evil
This world has unleased
No care for the suffering
Just there for the feast
Yet, she remains
By his side
She remains
Away from home
Time and again
Leaving her to handle
Work and kids all alone
Not knowing his condition
Or if he’s alive
She closes the door
So they won’t see her cry
Yet, she remains
Time after time
She remains
A strong women she is
He cannot deny
Strengthens his being
Fills him with pride
But his darkness grows
Deep inside
Tries to control it
Tries to hide
Yet, she remains
By his side
She remains.
He feels such anger
Deep inside
He feels depression
Hard to hide
He feels the emptiness
In his mind
He feels such sorrow
He wants to die
Yet, she remains
By his side
She remains
He’s been through some tough times
But she’s still here
He battles depressions
But she still cares
He’s fought the emptiness
In his soul
He’s fought the rage
Hard to control
Yet, she remains
By his side
She remains
He doesn’t know why
She remains
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I will have to speed things up a little, as my poetry writing went on a long hiatus, with only a few new writings. A lot has happened since my United Nations deployment to Cyprus in 1982. Which is where I left off in my previous post.
When the Regiment returned to Canada, we went on our post-deployment, Regimental Leave (Holiday). Upon return from Leave, the Regiment went into training mode, again. By the summer of 1983, I had completed an Artillery Communications Course, a Basic Blowpipe (Anti-Aircraft Missile) Course, and a Combat Leaders Course.
I ended up being extremely fortunate for having been sent to the Air Defence Artillery, rather than to the 1rst Regiment in Germany. The Air Defence was just being rejuvenated and was severely under-strength. I, as a no hook Gunner (Artillery Private), was moved into an empty Air Defence Detachment Commander's position. Which, is normally a Master Bombardier's (MBdr's) position (Artillery Master Corporal). In the summer of 1983, while participating in another large scale Military Exercise (Rendezvous RV-83), in the training field at Wainwright, Alberta, I was promoted to Master Bombardier.
Skipping a few years, the summer of 1985 started, back to Wainwright Alberta for RV-85, I was an idiot and turned down a promotion to Acting/Lacking Qualifications to Sergeant. I released from the Army, under the belief that I would be going to work for my girlfriends Father. Not telling me that she didn't really want this relationship, before I released from the Army, would have been nice. But, I was given that lovely news after I had released. So, the job offer was off the table, and I was left with no girlfriend, no job, no money. No money to continue paying the bank loan on my Camaro.
Unfortunately, it took 1 1/2 years to get back into the Military. Normally, if you released from the Military and were out for more than 1 year, you can loose a rank. Thankfully, since I had been officially promoted, administratively, to the rank of Acting/Lacking Sergeant, my reduction of Rank was back to former Rank of MBdr.
In 1987, 2 years after getting back into the Military, I suffered an allergic reaction and went into anaphylactic shock. No true cause was found, so I was deemed medically unfit to continue in the Artillery and was medically remustered (change of trade) to Communicator Research Operator (Signals Intelligence), with a reduction of Rank to Corporal.
I would be starting 1991, with a new Military Trade, a new wife and a new life.
I will continue my story with my next poem/s.
As noted before, I did not place my name and date of completion with my earlier poems. However, all of the poems from my book are copyright protected.
E.J.R. Hardy.
